Make Fun NoT War

....Welcome to

you bored piece of sh*t!!!....

(scroll down son)

hELLO, my name is Alex
and i'm addicted to making fun.
while we're at it, i might as well admit that i'm pretty addicted to Soccer.

and... late night munchies.
and granny porn.
:(

Sooooo you found my website, huh?

I was trying to keep it a secret,
but uhhhh… I guess the “cat’s out the bag.”

Or maybe...
the bag’s in the cat?!

(makes you think)

- Just relax.
- Make yourself at home (or office) (or classroom while the teacher isn’t looking)
- And if you haven't already: grab a beer… maybe smoke a spliff…Or just remain there sober & looking healthy. :)
- Then get clicker happy & browse through my website full of random nonsense.
- It’s all about making fun and not war! (and avoiding hard work.) (AND taking advantage of immigrants who are afraid to speak English.) (AND using cheesy lines like "make fun, not war.") (AND moving to Brazil to make porn videos.) (AND getting stoned like you were 17 again.) (AND updating your Facebook status.) (AND forwarding this website to all your friends.) (AND forwarding this website to all your friends.) what? (AND forwarding this website to all your friends.) (AND forwarding this website to all your friends.) lo siento.

Unfortunately for you though, this website is "under construction."
:(

Sorry kido, but I have a satisfying job
& pretty demanding social life (yes, I’m trying to sound cool)
so this neglected url will just HAVE to do.

I can’t be updating this thing like an out of shape 34 year old divorced (father of one)
wanna be DJ who needs a new haircut on his first six months of his
IO digital cable package with high speed internet.

“(877)393 4-4-4-8!!!”

And these youngins are proof that if even you aren't very talented
(but have a lot of free time to edit)
YOU TOO can be a YouTuber *STAR*

smart jerks

---------------------------------

If you'd like, check out my YOUTUBE profile
and/or
please re-visit in the future to see updates, focker!

"I never scare!"

(that was Mauro)

(he's drunk again)

Regardless, he's never scared.

Don't like YouTube?
Then check out one of my funny videos from here!

Pothead Cook teaches you how to tackle "LOS MUNCHIES":

Do you like Soccer?
Have you seen those crazy freestyle football videos?
NOT LIKE THIS ONE:

Do you need help losing weight?
Well, a few years ago I made this in efforts to help:

So I work at a restaurant and our kitchen staff plays music all day
(to keep them sane so they don't kill the owner) and one day
we heard this hilarious song called, "Estoy Enamorada."
Its about young Mexican girl from LA who's in love
with a cholo (gansta) and her father doesn't approve. :(

After watching our dishwasher/deliveryboy Pedro sing all the lyrics
I thought, "I HAVE TO MAKE A VIDEO FOR THIS!"

So I watched the original video and it was even funnier than the song!

LONG STORY SHORT:

Pretty gay, huh? Whatever! it's funny and YOU KNOW IT.

~((O_o))~

Facebook tags get me excited, ladies!!!

Here is my only Stand Up Comedy video available online
from NEW TALENT NIGHTS at Gothem & New York Comedy club in Manhattan:

(sorry but its mad old.)

If you'd like to contact me, email Alex@Makefunnotwar.com or click HERE

DONT click HERE

Or HERE

or here

i don't know what's worse:
- the fact that I actually created those links.
- or the fact that you kept clicking.
?

STILL BORED?!

Well, here's some "Sit Down Comedy" I wrote about the time i broke my hand:

So for those of you who don't already know, I broke my hand recently.

(NO, NOT from jerking off!)

I know, I know! Who still breaks their hand? Well, apparently grown men children still do.

And it was the right hand too! It's a bigger deal then I realized. First off, remember when a gallon of milk was heavy? Then you got older and stronger and felt like Superman pouring cereal all over the place. Well, guess what? A gallon of milk is heavy again! Makes me feel REAL manly asking my grandma to help me with my Lucky Charms.

But it wasn't really so much with pain that was the problem...but more importantly with my nightly activities.

Trying to get dressed is bad but tying your shoelaces is the worst. FUGGETABOUTIT! It takes like an hour! I'm like a three year old with a bowl of pasta and no fork.

Then you get to the club and that's when the REAL fun begins. Half the people are staring at you like, "what the fuck is he doing here? Why is he not home…HEALING?"

The other half wants to know the story behind your accident. "What happened? What happened to your arm?" But you've told the story so many times that you're sick of it. I swear, you're better off just handing out cards that explain the accident to avoid about 17 minutes of useless conversation. "Just read that so we can enjoy our night. Thanks!"

And the last thing you wanna is do get into a fight. An eight year old could fuck you up! So you gotta be REALLY nice to everyone, apologizing for everything. Someone bangs into you and spills your drink all ove the floor, you gotta be like,"my fault. I shouldn't have been stuck in that crowd." Someone takes your seat, "my bad, I shouldn't have used the bathroom tonight."

And women are mean too. I mean, what girl wants to talk to "brokenhand guy?" He can't even pick up his drink. Gotta hold it with two hands like its a bowl of porridge.

But if you get lucky, you meet a nice, drunk NYU girl. Last thing she feels is self conscious about is YOUR cast. The thing is, you wanna take her home except…mmrightttttt. Yep! just you…her…oh yeah! and you're large, hard white cast.

Could you imagine? There's only so much you could do. You better hope she (a) isn't lazy and/or (b) is really, really freaky!

And if that doesn't happen and you end up alone, you better have a lot of patience with that left hand.

The only positive of the night comes when you see someone else injured. There's a silent bond. You look at each other and just nod. It's like when a black guy goes to an all white party and then he see's "the other brother." Anything happens, we got each other's back, right? Afterall, two handicapped people equal one healthy!

Indian Street Fighters could kill you:

(_) )===D ~ ~ ~ ~ ({})
i'm an artist if you haven't noticed.

NO seriously...
Do you like Photoshop?
Well than scroll down and check out my "photoshop phunnies"
mixed with some of my random photos!

Drunk or dead?

oh yea, I was in a commercial. well two to be exact!

(right click below and press PLAY)
NIKE:

FOOTLOCKER:

GOODBYE!

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